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Writer's pictureJOY A COLLURA

My YouTube Channel brought here...Pt. 18

Video 57: Transcript

1:28:54

they're using the events apps for a for um anticipated

1:29:00

uh weather and fire behavior and stuff so now and then uh as part of the you

1:29:05

know calpire and the other agencies now use avenza primarily for uh

1:29:11

for uh apps and uh logistics and topo maps and everything

1:29:17

good there's events i guess so well i'm gonna go eat but

1:29:24

yeah i'm going to go eat but i wanted to close out uh one of the top things because sonny's an old miner and lager

1:29:30

and uh you recently talked to him and we were talking about how firefighters have a shorter life expert

1:29:35

even to minor and loggers they have a shorter life uh than that

1:29:41

and then um but do you see uh that i think the last time i looked in

1:29:47

april it was 44 44 of firefighters are over the age of 40. is that the same with dozer guys

1:29:54

or women um

1:30:02

uh yeah i would think it would seem to be true uh more and more there's

1:30:08

some younger you have to be a minimum of uh for a dozer i think you got to be

1:30:14

21 i'm not sure 20 or some funny thing or 20. i know you got to be at least 18

1:30:20

i think to be on the fire line or i think you have to be at least 21 to be on the fire line too right at all yeah i

1:30:27

believe it's 21 and of course with a current rt190 certification card and then uh

1:30:34

to even be on yeah to help or to pump diesel or to help out on the fight whatever it is your your job is is uh

1:30:40

the minimum quals or the rt190 so but then i think you got to be yeah one

1:30:46

21 and then when i was here this week i've met a variety of people but one of them was a smoke jumper and he was

1:30:53

saying that they only earn like 16 bucks and that's a foreman can earn up to like

1:30:58

24 bucks and he that they don't make anything extra for jumping out of you

1:31:04

know parachute jumps and but they do receive hazard pay but it's only 25 of the base pay when

1:31:10

you know you're working in uncontrolled wildland fire he's like and they get picked on the most from the hot shot

1:31:16

community have you ever seen any thing on your end where there's like a

1:31:22

rivalry like like back in the 50s you know hot shot versus smoke jumper or do you

1:31:27

not ever see any of that it is here in arizona um yeah uh that's not so the paid thing

1:31:35

and there's a couple of things that you hit it on there um oh shoots

1:31:41

what do you mean as far as my point of view in the dozera contractor world or even agency dozer guys or they kind of

1:31:47

have a rivalry going on have you ever come across any kind of

1:31:52

multi-jurisdiction or any kind of thing where hot shots versus smoke jumpers or dozer

1:31:58

guys versus you know something no i've never no i maybe maybe

1:32:05

have heard a joke and it was a real joke everybody laughed and the guys were a couple of grassroots

1:32:12

guys and uh i think it was like in the chow line or something somebody said something that though smoke jumpers with

1:32:19

us or uh hot shots of that and then i think both of them's comments were actually so uh so strong that

1:32:27

they both laughed and they're going hey bro you know what i know you know i'm just giving you a heck i

1:32:33

used to be a hot shot so i all this and so but uh

1:32:39

i don't know you know i think there is uh i've never really heard it though but i think there could be and i don't know

1:32:46

about between it could be fuels or hotshots or who's the high guy on the on the rung or with the top brass

1:32:53

or what you know because of course the airman guys they're uh uh in my book uh they're very respected

1:33:00

i think in most people's book it's the same because they do something that just freaks most of us out jumping out of a

1:33:05

perfectly good airplane that's like what what are we doing well he pissed again you know so

1:33:11

even some of the guys just said that on the videos like what you know what do i do but anyway funny stuff but no i

1:33:18

haven't ever heard really but i do believe in crew if you get into the crew cohesiveness

1:33:27

uh discussions or about that and sm there is amongst crews and crew cohesion

1:33:34

cohesiveness and uh issues or uh maybe uh competing uh

1:33:41

or uh yeah i think at those levels uh but i've never really

1:33:47

seen you know anybody uh just jokingly engaged in that but i did that not to

1:33:53

say that at that aspect or not you know isn't there well that's why when dr ted

1:33:59

putman was a smoke jumper and he worked at brazil labs and fred was a hot shot he always like starts off

1:34:05

he always starts off with he talks to cruz like haha you know any smoke jumpers in the audience you know and

1:34:10

then he'll pick a joke and stuff so to re-answer your question um

1:34:18

there is a time when i have heard i think it was someone a couple guys

1:34:24

that i knew that had made a remark about um

1:34:30

it was actually a high up person that i knew i remember actually who made the remark i'm not going to repeat his name

1:34:35

but uh they did make a remark about smoke forgive me for saying this

1:34:42

but they did make a remark about a smoke jumper heat their time what was he doing the idea of the fire of battalion

1:34:49

crueler and this guy that made that remark maybe

1:34:58

right i just he i did hear that it was a comment where

1:35:03

it did have validity because of who said it and uh so but at that point at that level i don't know what they're trying i

1:35:09

don't have their qualifications i've never and who's whose iq was you know and i know that they've said oh the iq

1:35:16

of firefighters they posted that several times in the ads on facebook and on the news and and i'm like man

1:35:23

that ain't to me it's not cool the iq come on listen hey at the bare minimum a

1:35:30

firefighter if he goes out you know i mean do they people don't have no idea how hard work it is they don't even know

1:35:36

just let me see the guys on the boots on the ground doesn't matter even the smoke jumpers they gotta hike their butts off

1:35:43

believe you me they drop them oh yeah it looks good in there and then they go they gotta

1:35:48

sometimes pack saws everything and so uh they uh are pretty awesome the smoke

1:35:53

they they literally may not be uh recognized for that but they get dropped

1:35:59

they get you know it all looks good from there let me tell you so the people when you said the boots on the ground um

1:36:06

tom harper this year when i was hiking with him on top of the weaver mountains with roy hall he had his um old boots

1:36:12

from like back in the 60s or so i think it was the 70s recording oh shoot

1:36:18

with me yeah okay yeah i think it is still rolling is that okay now we were talking about the 10 and 18

1:36:24

you look at it i know you and i talked about the 10 and 18 and then it went all the way through

1:36:30

there that's fine we have good backup yes i mean it's good back and forth flow

1:36:35

so back up to tom harper he was wearing his uh boots you know and he's had them all these decades and he always done is

1:36:41

resold them guys love their their boots or their right leg they'd rather than give up their boots you know

1:36:47

the the the fire the guys on the ground they're great you know i mean i can't i'm not i

1:36:53

did pull in line in the woods and hooking logs so yeah i was gonna say my i have lager boots and so and i have

1:36:59

banners and stuff like that but um it seems like there's even with that like the hot shot versus smoke jumper but

1:37:06

there's like jk boots whites and you know there's just a whole bunch of lines up oh yeah i mean

1:37:11

maybe in arizona and partzilla idaho they're pretty proud of oh that's not

1:37:16

the one with that ain't what you know and then everybody on that crew has these so

1:37:22

i get what you're saying yeah and i never got into that like to me um why would i pay five to seven hundred

1:37:28

dollars for a booth but no but they do you look on the

1:37:33

wildland fire buy trade will sell websites the guys are and uh but you can

1:37:39

get good deals on there too by the way but they're yeah no they i understand it to you because when i was young i didn't

1:37:44

have a bulldog all these things and i loved logging boot just my neighbors were log truck drivers yeah but i like

1:37:50

the logger boot and and i do the same the logger boot in the wildland bay is almost

1:37:56

the same it's basically there there is several that's our two in the same and then there's several that specify this

1:38:03

or the other um eight inches top with a vibram sole is what a region five uses is really their

1:38:09

correct to meet their criteria which is a eight inch upper minimum and then uh

1:38:15

it's either eight or ten and then uh minimum with a vibram soul heal that's

1:38:21

what they that's our standard um you there i've seen us contractors get away with way less to

1:38:28

the point where i actually wouldn't allow them to wear those but uh there's guys that do have issues with their feet

1:38:34

and they're spending a lot of time on fire let's say two three months even some of these guys little dozer with uh

1:38:40

you know those type of boots if they're not used to wearing them um you know i had kind of a pair of tanners

1:38:46

kind of a little bit custom made for me after all these years i could barely afford so but i couldn't

1:38:52

afford new boots and uh very pleased with what the guy did but to find a good boot that's it's not thinsulate or

1:39:00

some funny stuff that makes your foot hot and uh has too high a heel or not enough heel or whatever all these you

1:39:06

know things and that i've learned over the years what work and the high heel is definitely to

1:39:12

save your calf muscle on steep inclines it gives you a two inch platform versus

1:39:17

your calf muscle moving that extra two inches on a steep hill to propel you

1:39:22

this will vary and the heels can be dug in very deep on a decline and so there's

1:39:27

a very purpose for the typical vibram sole high-heeled

1:39:34

wildland type logger boot there's a very and but they are heavy and they can be hot different models of them can be

1:39:40

different uh issues with them so i kind of had mine built you know a little not quite such a high heel all

1:39:47

these things i got to walk on the dozer tracks to get on it i don't hopefully have to do too much time on foot and i

1:39:53

learned what works well for me and so i had a cut a cobbler view me some boots i'm very happy with them and

1:39:59

so but uh and they're they're cool they're not they're not a heavy super thick white

1:40:05

leather there there's actually different thicknesses they build boots with tanner uses like one of the thinnest that's why

1:40:11

theirs are very comfortable i like dinner because they're lighter i like dinner because they're lighter

1:40:17

and then they're generally lighter because of their the heel yeah

1:40:23

but they do make a wildland boot uh and then i like the lacrosse for the snake boots i have the lacrosse but i

1:40:29

met a firefighter who had the lacie see over here of the cheese it's l-u-c-c-h-e-s-e

1:40:35

so i think i've seen them they're 15 they're 15 000 boots

1:40:41

and and i've never seen that and he took he took his alligator boots and turned them into

1:40:47

wildland fire boots oh okay yeah i think maybe i have an

1:40:52

idea about what you're talking about yeah yeah so that's kind of a little bit extreme but so the only boots i've ever

1:40:58

worn are snake boots fire boots and uh two-stroke uh to get on my uh two-stroke

1:41:03

bike uh other other than that i don't i don't really pay attention to it so like

1:41:09

yeah those are actually wouldn't be too bad for except for they're not comfortable to wear on a while that fire

1:41:14

but they do offer a good uh i've worn them around the yard and weed eating and and cutting wood the motorcycle boots

1:41:21

the the dirt bike are extremely uh offer good ppe values but uh yeah they're not

1:41:27

very comfortable one on a fire so you'd be hating those but the guys on the ground they definitely have a love for

1:41:33

their boots it's hard to understand or even explain to the normal normal uh joe

1:41:38

public out there that's not orientated to but they're very particular about their ppe uh i have learned

1:41:45

in even a little jealousy factor of men you know and if i ever get caught or

1:41:51

or whatever happens am i really ready so i made my own wildland pack you can pay

1:41:58

the the minimum's like 500 and then or right in there and then uh

1:42:04

so i made out of my old web gear actually um it's good true north web gear it's

1:42:09

got good padding and then that it can support a lot of weight it's got a very good anchor around your waist

1:42:15

with nice padding and adjustability which i i'm not a packer or hiker i don't know about that system but i i

1:42:22

saw how the wildland packs are made and the weight is uh offset more around your waist and uh it looks like kind of like

1:42:28

the uppers are like wearing suspenders and uh kind of a funny looking pack so i uh can't afford all these things i have

1:42:35

an old web gear it's made by true north the very fine piece of gear uh brand name company uh and um

1:42:43

i attached a cheap big five sporting goods uh tactical like

1:42:49

uh you know shooting cat hunting tactical backpack to my web gear uh specifically attached it similar to the

1:42:56

to the wild uh to the mystery ranch pack and uh

1:43:01

and and so i made my own and i just because i was jealous of those guys and i i'm not

1:43:07

jealous of the sweat and the heart you know that i admire them and i i can't do the ground thing i tried it once and uh

1:43:13

we we didn't get packed out of the fire by a helicopter but i uh it was it was a tough uh

1:43:20

event for me i'll never do the oc or the boots on the ground but i have had to walk extremely

1:43:26

long distance on even being attached to a dozer on a fire and uh thank god fire

1:43:31

wasn't chasing me because i can guarantee you what was going through my mind just as i got fatigued and you

1:43:38

remember last september when we were talking about um my experience at wildland firefighter foundation and well

1:43:44

that this woman wanted boots so bad and i was like yeah you imagine them and i talked to a

1:43:51

guy there years ago and i really didn't wasn't impressed with him but i think your experience was less than

1:43:57

well but we always take things into the positive and when i think back and i think about the woman that wanted the

1:44:03

boots so bad and he opened up the place and um he explained that the jk boots were family owned and operated and they

1:44:10

handcrafted the highest quality and stuff and they're made in the usa and in this the materials were sourced right

1:44:16

there you know so it's not overseas and they build the toughest things and stuff like that i remember the the girl was so

1:44:23

happy that like the total was a certain amount and she says just keep the rest of the money um

1:44:30

uh for your foundation and stuff like that and i just thought that was pretty cool like to see someone not only be

1:44:36

interested in buying the boots but also um investing there was a big large difference in like hit the change back

1:44:43

you know and he said i'll get it you all that and she didn't worry about it it was like really neat to see that and so i never

1:44:51

looked not once since that whole year went by i never looked once for jk boots

1:44:56

at all i just know that they were custom i was gonna get because they did custom work i was going to have arizona

1:45:03

desert um i think there was an emf foundation with advertiser kind of

1:45:08

putting out there he was donating some some proceeds or some funds from his earnings to

1:45:14

or you know one of the other emf or the what or wf oh yeah no wff

1:45:20

gets a cut they get cut back and forth but i've never looked i was going to get them because it was a custom

1:45:28

no i just do remember not to pay off i did the booths but the uh i do remember that yeah there was pretty i seem to me

1:45:34

you're awful kind of hard about it i think then but uh or not really understanding but that

1:45:40

those that while the the uh what's the arizona wildland firefighter foundation or whatever is

1:45:46

that what's called yes um yeah the i um yeah from what i remember what you told

1:45:52

me there was some i uh how do i begin but so they didn't uh

1:45:58

maybe especially for a person that um of your structure and then that apparently

1:46:03

you did give um a donation uh pretty uh pretty uh considerable and uh and it

1:46:10

should be even considerable or not it's all who can afford to do what and their intentions yeah well i've raised i

1:46:17

really think my intentions have always been pure very good that's what i remember yeah and i continue to see like

1:46:24

this it's just kind of like a standoffish uh and and i get like this voice in my

1:46:29

head saying well they have a lot of firefighters that they have to handle and they but i do remember last summer i

1:46:36

said i need help i need mental counseling i tried to go through

1:46:41

i need someone that knows about fires and stuff like that and i never um i remember sitting in front of the person

1:46:47

that originated the thing and she's like what can i do for you and i expressed it and i never seen even communications

1:46:54

except for this past summer this like maybe a month ago i got a friend's uh

1:46:59

request or for or accepted my friend's request from last year you know from and and but during

1:47:06

the whole year i did fundraisers i was really pumping it up and and i with no

1:47:12

expectations i really wasn't um i just was excited and i wasn't trying to belong to

1:47:17

anything because i don't even roll that way and you don't either we're just like we're the recluse people of the world like we rolled differently and so

1:47:24

when i was you just by the way well i gotta i'll call you or you call me back but i got

1:47:30

there's a message about a fire here that i'm trying to oh okay gotcha i'll let you go but

1:47:35

well we can close yeah we could close it because i got to go i got to go eat but i just won

1:47:41

my my whole deal with um fires is i look out for the miners and

1:47:46

the loggers and i used to do for the ranchers until i learned some of the ranchers are tied to blm as fmaos or

1:47:54

fmos and i have a different thought nowadays and

1:48:00

no yeah and then one thing we didn't bring up may not be actually a good thing we'd bring up but the uh

1:48:06

there's uh the neighbors of breads of the hounds and everything else we've learned that

1:48:11

they've made things very difficult on you so but we could do that on another time yeah so i'm gonna go eat this thing

1:48:17

i'll call you back in a little bit you tell me um maybe like an hour or two i'll call you back but i'm gonna go get

1:48:22

some meat and then you can do your fire thing and all in all though we were not leaving off on the forgetting about how

1:48:28

you i felt about how they treated you at that foundation and stuff and we'll get back to that definitely yeah

1:48:34

i i mean like i always want to try things in the positive that's the how i have to roll in life because um and it

1:48:40

goes back to that um remember the human teak or what was a human you know

1:48:48

no the human um that song the human league or the one yeah

1:48:55

oh goodness it's called them we are yeah it's very slow song it's

1:49:01

really cool it's uh european i like that kind of older 80s uh but yeah we're only human it's really

1:49:07

soft and you'd almost think it was by wham or somebody yeah and when i got punched when i got punched this week i

1:49:14

that's the first thing that came to my head that was that i was like this was in arizona or no over here off of broadway

1:49:22

um it right off the broadway right around the corner from wildland firefight foundation and that monday

1:49:28

when uh one of the staff members told me to not go on friday and that you she had

1:49:34

uh the holy spirit come that something bad was gonna happen to me so i didn't know if that was a premonition or she overheard something that's where i was i

1:49:40

was like what that did not feel good at all so then

1:49:46

when i got there and i was getting less than nice treatment uh that day i was

1:49:51

being kind of they were real standoffish and then i was told by someone they know that they had uh some you know they're

1:49:57

dealing with heavy stuff firefighters and deaths and suicide and stuff but you know when somebody's ghosting you or

1:50:04

standoffish and i you feel it you know it so i mean you know when someone's welcoming and stuff

1:50:10

and hey and then apparently they're making it that they're being very defensive about

1:50:16

something that like apparently no yeah who knows they just are kind of giving themselves away in a way but not always

1:50:24

but it's if they're overly defensive and they have no reason to be that way towards

1:50:29

you and my my feelings but then people are assaulting assaulting you or

1:50:36

attacking

1:50:42

it's a serious it's a very serious thing when i'm walking doing my normal four to eight and a four eight in the morning

1:50:47

four to eight and and then have that happen it set the tone of um

1:50:52

there's nobody else making any warnings there was nobody else anywhere saying joy don't do this or anything so when

1:50:59

i'm being warned from the actual entity it was really hard for me and i wanted to say something there but when i saw

1:51:05

the cop outside with him i decided at that point to use my discernment and

1:51:10

wait and do things in a more proper way i'll just put the body cam out and show that hey i'm not the one that's a

1:51:17

problem i'm there for the helping you know and anytime anybody can call you know so i

1:51:24

just i think it's sad giving of you and uh yeah that's uh yeah

1:51:30

and these people get an income i don't get an income i'm just a housewife that's getting certified in the industry

1:51:35

to learn and gain knowledge these people get an income and i still get a lack of respect and i

1:51:41

i do i do in my heart believe i'm owned an apology on many areas but that would be one of them

1:51:47

yeah for sure no really because if you look at the body cam and he states that

1:51:52

um that i have a history of doing that no i don't and and then if you look at my

1:51:58

blog and if you look at the people tied to their wff board members my blog partner has said stuff but not

1:52:05

me and i get associated so yeah no i i know i do good and i have a pure heart

1:52:11

and and i'll tell you we we will one day get on the road you and i together and

1:52:16

and do the dozer thing at some point i'm just doing the two days a week on my brain tumors

1:52:24

one day and uh yeah so because you have those qualifications amongst many others so but that's

1:52:31

um yeah i know that'd be great to uh someday tie in and have face to face and

1:52:38

say hey and maybe it'll be on a fight or somewhere or we end up going together as part of a

1:52:45

crew or one or the other's crew something like that that would be great and uh but yeah that's um you know the thing is

1:52:51

is you gotta keep going though and i think yeah you've had enough positive information from very very um

1:52:59

couldn't be in my eyes any more considerable important people from that incident that were

1:53:05

indirectly as their family members however indirect or directly involved yeah they don't

1:53:11

it's gonna be tough because people are gonna i say they're always gonna go uh

1:53:17

you know as much as they may say oh you're going against the grain they're actually going fighting a whole

1:53:23

um real entity of like you know it's just spiritual there's karma there's all

1:53:29

these things that i don't want to that actually does but there's very you know realm of things that

1:53:34

and when people perish and their families are close to uh to them and have to reflect and

1:53:40

uh they've begun to appreciate you and uh and i think some of them

1:53:46

will uh more and more actually i think it will become

1:53:51

open and uh and forget willing and whatever

1:53:56

to uh have reflections on on the incident and it is such a thing you know

1:54:02

hey remember last summer when i was so sad about it like i was really like i was confused and i was asking you

1:54:08

because well you remember because you're i said you're you're i said i didn't really want to know you because you were close

1:54:13

to my age and i just experienced something very odd and stuff and i didn't want to so what's weird is like i

1:54:19

think back or and i go gosh had i not heard and i've been in that living room

1:54:24

and i heard um the mother of him say she needs to get on the next plane she's controversial i think had i never

1:54:32

heard that i i wouldn't be as scarred right now you know what i'm saying i think it's that beginning part where

1:54:38

she's trying to push me out because him and i had a good rapport until that moment there was nothing

1:54:45

you know and it was my first experience to be around someone my own age and i remember when my high school

1:54:50

buddies are a little bit older than him they were kind of taken back because um they're like hey

1:54:56

you know like you could have talked to us or you know chilled with us and it was really my first experience in

1:55:02

life and so it i thank you so much not just for your service on firefighter but for being there for me and let me get

1:55:09

all that out because it was so confusing at that time for me i didn't know how to take it or handle

1:55:14

it i didn't know what to i tried to kind of go along with what

1:55:21

you were having as far as uh you know emotions and uh things were getting thrown at you and just trying to

1:55:28

to uh support what your good intentions were which is you know when uh it's it's hard

1:55:34

it's hard when you're catching plaque from it's uh no matter how good our intentions are

1:55:40

um but uh it's hard to it's sometimes been even impossible to

1:55:45

continue so there was times that you needed a break in there and now you were you were just literally upset and i kind

1:55:51

of even angered it just like i think i was a lot of pits of anger because um it

1:55:57

was like i got ghosted and i didn't understand why is scott get to have a good rapport and we're the

1:56:03

same like literally we're the same and then i'm like oh wait i'm a girl you know like i just didn't like that feel

1:56:09

that he was okay and chill with him but i couldn't be okay and chill and so it was a hard process for me because

1:56:16

even if i'm not totally hard probably i remember being on it yeah listening to but he and even

1:56:24

at that it has to i'm just coming into my thought now that

1:56:29

that we got to remember so many things to be able to rise above things so thank

1:56:35

you um yeah it's just unreal to uh a challenge so but in that there's this

1:56:42

weird unnecessary unfair unproper unmoralistic pecking order of

1:56:49

the human race that occurs as after we're born thrust into uh

1:56:54

life you know so let me see so and yeah and i got it is i don't know if it's our

1:57:01

last name or our first name what we look like or what but it's it's it just seems that i'm not too sure

1:57:09

i believe in fate or destiny all these things i'm not even gonna get into that but just yeah it seems

1:57:14

that one person can you know go atop the mountain and uh be heard

1:57:19

and uh one other guy may not be heard on the same hill and one guy that's an

1:57:25

insignificant uh even mouse in the lower land can just barely make

1:57:32

something and he's heard and how is it that even i feel so many times in that same

1:57:39

places you felt all the time actually and uh i'm going like well i mean what i got to learn is or i gotta keep poking

1:57:46

into my head is just like what i just said we to rise above things we gotta end uh

1:57:52

so there's just um yeah we're only human like the song says

1:57:57

that's a good good thing and uh no matter what there's always gonna be

1:58:06

your phone is playing some funny music all of a sudden again

1:58:12

that's okay so big like i said it's only you know to keep you kind of on track i just

1:58:17

was trying to support you but like i said no matter how correct or proper our morals might be um

1:58:23

depending on what neighborhood we're in so to speak is it going to fit i remember telling

1:58:29

you and i remember telling my husband right yeah i remember

1:58:40

yeah but i remember telling my husband and you and a few others scott and stuff that i

1:58:46

the newness of being around that environment like stuff i remember feeling like well i can actually

1:58:53

because i've never had a relationship i've always been best friends with john and we got married but that was my first time in life that i actually thought i

1:59:00

can actually know somebody and then when we start talking remember we kind of like it was like it was so overwhelming

1:59:06

in the beginning the first two days were so because i was so taken in we had so many things and talking and come

1:59:13

in the beginning and then we had a point where we kind of clashed and we were both kind of well because

1:59:18

but don't you think that don't you think the clash was happening because um we had so many things in

1:59:24

common and it was kind of like in its own right there were so many factors and then on top of those to add to those

1:59:31

factors there were life factors that i was going through some

1:59:36

heavy things you had been going through heavy things and it had been kind of escalating yeah with the helms yeah with

1:59:42

the ycson we were we weren't we were putting a demand on what friendship we had

1:59:51

outside of um the fire a little bit and just because we had we were friends and but we it was

1:59:59

a it weighed on our uh friendship as far as how we were communicating on fire

2:00:05

and then how we felt even that day if we were having a good day or bad day because god knows you have some medical conditions that are that are real and

2:00:13

it was uh but yeah a little challenging thing yeah the friday before the friday before i left my doctor came

2:00:20

into my um in the office and i didn't know that he had said the same thing to scott because he now goes to the doctor

2:00:26

and he said that joy it's such a like your name fits you so perfectly because

2:00:32

if people only knew all the medical records i own and and if they only knew all the stuff you have up

2:00:38

against you you are such a joy you know yes yeah and i do i try to have a

2:00:44

positive and i try to i after listening to that body cam yesterday

2:00:50

or saying oh she's trying isn't that the weirdest thing yeah and it's funny because when i listened that body cam

2:00:55

and he was saying the things about um i have a history of harassing i was like you know i'm not going to react because

2:01:01

that's his thing that's not my thing i got to stay in there that was the remark to try to trigger

2:01:07

you to see if you would uh yeah yeah but i mean that person never knew i was gonna get the body cam they they don't

2:01:13

know how savvy i am on getting records and i already got it you know and it was funny on the body cam he was asking can

2:01:19

i have a copy of this and the guy's like no because i didn't write an incident report so um and then

2:01:26

he and then he's like well i'd like a copy and and so i already have it all i i got the copy of the incident report

2:01:32

and the body cams and and and i looked at it and i thought somebody got in his

2:01:37

ear and i don't know if it's a combination of family members friends or the people from the yarnell somebody

2:01:44

got in his ears because we were totally fine and then all of a sudden it went weird and

2:01:50

like it's just strange well as much as we're you know if we reflect

2:01:57

it actually may have began at your first meeting that uh even i didn't see right away but i think i kind

2:02:04

of was smelling the coffee and but you didn't see it because you're you're kind of like oh these are good people

2:02:10

and no worries which which should be totally reasonable thought but i remember gary l

2:02:16

olsen called [ __ ] on that and you did too and um like you don't do those kind of

2:02:21

things to somebody that has health issues or even to a stranger you don't offer those kind of things

2:02:27

you know so oh well i'm gonna go eat dinner talk to you in about an hour or two and we'll catch up some more

2:02:33

yeah yeah but for some reason do you can you receive a text at this

2:02:39

because for some reason i may be i'm not i don't think i'm leaving to a fire tonight but i may be

2:02:55

yeah it didn't go okay it was a very weird week like i said in recap i went to the wff tour learned some information

2:03:03

to not go on friday interview

2:03:09

yeah wildland firefighter yeah i went on the tour by betty and

2:03:15

then i was told to um you know don't go on friday well actually she said don't go tomorrow which i was going to sun

2:03:21

valley and then when i explained it more she goes oh no it's the interview don't go friday and then when i got i got

2:03:28

punched three times once in the left twice in the right um and i'll tell you that hurt like and then and when they

2:03:34

made the same comments she did i you gotta wonder

2:03:40

yeah it makes you wonder and then when she came up to me and said that he's calling the cops and i needed to go

2:03:46

and all that yeah defensive i would still make a answer

2:03:52

for him i am yeah i did i i wrote them um a public records request for the um

2:03:58

lawyer over here at the hotel and i have i asked for the body cam of the officer talking to me and then that one i said

2:04:05

hey i've tried to make an answer report but that doesn't fall under any of the categories so um that's where it's left

2:04:11

right now so i'm gonna go grab something to eat now them and then you text me i don't get downloadable text i only get

2:04:17

text where you type it you know yeah right right okay sounds good yeah you mean yeah right

2:04:23

not messengers texts yeah that's phone number right gotcha all right good talking with you

2:04:30

talk soon yeah no totally everything is very good that conversation and um it's

2:04:36

just like i said well i just want to heal you know i want to heal and you really help my mental health that's what i was hoping to get from the wff that's

2:04:44

what i was asking on monday and then the other day um i asked again in an email and they just

2:04:50

disregarded me and i i just needed someone to talk to i mean it's really a lot of stuff that i

2:04:56

i know more than i speak and it's really hard to keep all that in you know and and they didn't help and it was really

2:05:01

sad yeah i'm i under i'm flicked

2:05:07

i'm i understand and uh it's not yeah anyway yeah you just we you got to

2:05:14

continue on and put that but behind you oh yeah it's already i'm already done with it i mean like that's i don't even

2:05:20

think negative about them or anything it's just for me to experience that this past week it was whoa and then the watch the body

2:05:27

cam was even whoa you know i was like what what's kind of [ __ ] is going on here because uh none of that adds up

2:05:33

unless somebody's orchestrating something behind the scenes that's the only times it adds up you know

2:05:38

because i'm not i'm not here for harm we'll figure it out we already kind of we kind of figured

2:05:45

right yeah it's called um i was it from the boss hogs the good

2:05:51

old boys yeah the right that guy he said something well hey we'll talk uh in

2:05:58

about and what's it for six now

2:06:05

um [Music] 646.

2:06:11

okay all right

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