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  • JOY A COLLURA

My "Dear John" letter to the W__ and why...pt 3

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Abbreviations used: Wildland Firefighters (WFs) - Firefighters (FFs).


 


 

God shared with me after the Yarnell Hill Fire 2013 (YHF) that people will try to correct me or even state the blog is just too much data or they would help me to articulate it better.


He assured me to just do the "live" journal and just be me--which means "rambling on"....


In that, the youth would one day take over and thread the nuggets and what needs to be found out about the omissions of YHF - I just had to do "me" and God would do the rest...


You hear me say it or you saw me type it on InvestigativeMEDIA or here that I am just the one placing me out there real and raw and the younger generation will solve this matter for me of why I almost died June 30, 2013.


Once upon a time, we for sure lived in a time that refrained from sharing on secrets, temptations, how we feel, etc. and in my humble opinion has brought us to the messes and chaos we see today.


We must have a pure... to the point... look at this all to not only save lives in the fire arena / industry / community but as well in our own daily living and Eternal life.


We all at one point in time have faced impurities. Mine happened.


I also know my relationship to God is so balanced today that it took that moment to open my eyes to see that my bible was dusty so that must of meant my life was rusty.


Honor God in every action you do in your days.


Some will state you are dishonoring the 19 by writing or speaking about them --- I disagree. I honor God in getting His message out. I place the documents out to get a better understanding why Sonny and I almost died June 30, 2013, yet 19 did die.


We are the eyewitness who were up there on the Weavers. We deserve to delve into how that weekend happened?

We deserve to see if it is a short term or long-term systemic concern within the fire and aviation industry.


I am humbled and humiliated to share my personal and professional life to the World.


However, I also find encouragement to "Stand Up" where so many refuse to do just that.


There is a gaping void for people to seek for Holiness and I am just sharing the real issues where others lay quite, comfortable in silence. I hope the spark for purity happens and that my sharing kindles that fire within you to "Speak Up".

Over the many decades I have lived life, I have seen the code of silence in so many areas to life. Yet, the sad part I also seen the lies and ill jokes towards any person who lives in purity and speaks up --- look at my path and how I was stifled after the YHF 2013 just trying to document the fire I almost died on.


So, by doing that determination of silence --- we are left with an unhealthy way to communicate. I wanted accurate information. I did seek it. I received it. I freely share it.


Look at those who speak ill of me---do they do things "freely" like i have done for almost ten years--- or are they protecting their "made for profit" job / organizations / businesses / political agendas?


I have been offered book and movie deals, but it sickens me anything to that would bring media attention.


What we need is human attention to doing a true study to the aftermath of laying slurry drops on "live" fire and watch that demographic area the years after to illness and deaths.


I strongly feel in God's time, my message will reach you or not.


I wanted to make sure unintentional / intentional "misinformation" was challenged and corrected to

"true form."


Ignorance is one of the top things I have watched. Go along to get along is another. etc, etc, etc... pure hate is another shown my way versus communicating direct to me- they do yuk manners much like this cop being called when asking for a simple public record.


I desire, and I think some of you do as well, to know what is right and true not only about the world around you but with yourself in your life choices.


So many lies and myths laid before us.


I am going to bring up- we are all made with diverse or similar chemical and or hormonal variances that may heighten or lessen our "drive" for the day---


Some have a higher drive then others and use substance, so they feel less...


One of the most difficult life assignments I have had to balance has been my emotional, Spiritual, social and just relationships and what it is I want for my immediate space and balancing that with what God wants for my life.


You probably can "get me" here...how many think when they sat at church and saw the folks all shined up then you are out hiking one day, and you see so and so's wife with so and so's hubby out doing God knows what sinfully...


---that you scratch your head --- are those the same folks who last Sunday were praising Jesus and glorifying the Amens and Halleluiahs?


Right motions on Sunday ... but what happened the rest of the time?


My personal goal has always been to integrate Spiritual life to my everyday life. Stuff happens within our bodies, people. Some areas we just do not understand.


We all need to be open and express the feelings no matter how old we are- no matter how inexperienced or experienced we are socially or intimately.


Attitude is my everything.


I live within a family unit that is sport-dominated. My brother Paul and I are the ones who are not --- when it comes to Sports, my brother Paul and I have a workout room and may do action sports, but we are not boob tube watchers of it nor want to understand it.


I have missed so many female relationships over time because I had the mindset and viewed them as 'crazy- pick your dysfunction' or high maintenance. I also was shown Hollywood and Government folks my way early on so really it tied into what was shown my way.


However, in recent years, the beautiful female friendships God has shown my way are priceless. Immeasurable. I hung out with my grandpas and father growing up, so I preferred the ease of the masculine vs the competitive mind set of the ladies.


Summer 2021 through Summer 2022, I did not ever 'justify' the invited moment last Summer. I shared it to God and asked Him to help me process it all. Why me? and all I got was Why not you? The fiery draw of temptation happens...


My mind set needed to be focused just to God. I shared as you see on my live journal all year to WFF and the crew with much purity and heart and it was just that.


That was why when I became traumatized 7-18-22 by my WFF tour and the lack of them recognizing it except Betty Ashe took me in- she saw it. Betty Ashe bounced right into action. Yet, I was focused to the ones who were standoffish versus the one who was immediately obedient to God.


Take a look at you, Joy.

You are in Idaho for an interview and to further research and document the Beaver Creek fire. You were not there to get traumatized by visiting WFF and the expansion of their building. How do we mend a broken heart?


This was a different experience for me. How many times have I outed God and His plan for me? Claimed the trauma versus willing to understand His plan for me. I am glad I had that WFF moment to bring me even closer to God.


all I said was I was ready to work with Him - there it happened. It was not the life ahead of me but the life within me that happened.


Looking back to the WFF tour and I will remain resigned as a W__ Lifetime Member because I really want zero tie to any organization tied in with the Phos Chek folks --- I have that right to feel such way. I know and see way too much.


I get it- building expanded for a "meeting" ground for the boots on the ground. I get, as a registered agent to JK Boots, making it a formal setting to people getting fitted...what I did not get was the manners 7-18 and 7-20-22 to me directly.


Undeserving, especially what was said after I left - I made my way there and I had a history of harassing Wildland Firefighters. --- that was so uncool and without sources and uncalled for.


I just needed to fact check and verify how one can see the evidence last Summer 2021 and hear my story and then see all I did on the WFF tour.


It was a pain that hit deep and with much weeping. I was back to the smells of burning flesh in 2013 that the box canyon had as I buried my special bond with my animals as I looked at the walls of the WFF, and I relived the too many funerals I have gone to...the horrific deaths as I looked at the images on those walls of the WFF.


I let that all go when I made that post, yet I bring this up to show I only desire to do right. I am just trying to recover physically from the punches. I am Christ's. He loves me. Wide awake to my salvation.


I have learned also we live in a culture where boundaries have been obliterated, disappearing...I care about the crew at WFF just will not tie in as a member or connect to any area tied to Phos Chek. My life choice.


I refuse to fall into the acceptance quicksand that Phos Chek is okay, and we are okay being around it. Until a real study is done on real fires but use YHF 2013 as a prime example to where the slurry drop was laid on "live" fire and see who died or are unhealthy in a horrific way.


Regardless, of my stance. I never want people to feel like me. Do your own research.


I will say this once, that the attraction last Summer 2021 was under influence, and I have a deep respect for the hard work over at W__ and I am shocked by 2022 manners of B__ towards me but happens with lack of dialogue I reckon.


I refuse to entertain recent email from FC to FJS and it does come off as strongly suggestive of harassment towards FJS and reason some were removed off the social media areas of mine.


God has standards. If one of the loved ones of the GMHS has their social media sponsored to our timelines and a comment is left in regard to safety, I stand by that and I did support Bob Power's "like" and the comment left.


Freedom of speech. One cannot state that is harassing someone to speak truths of one or more Standard Fire Orders and or Watchout Situations.


I am sharing God's Love has never been based if my ability met His Standards. It has always been unconditional. I am the apple to His eye so to speak. Even when I did wrong, His Love never waned. When I ignored the signs from Him to self-wallow from my losses, He was right there because He did not want my heart to harden from the moment.


As Bob Powers and Fred J Schoeffler speak on InvestigativeMEDIA and in life...rules are part of life to keep us safe and alive. I will do my part to bring back the ten and eighteen that seems to be fading off with the current leadership in fire and aviation industry.


I say, you got it God---what next...



 

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