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  • Writer's pictureJOY A COLLURA

My "Dear John" letter to the ___ and why...

Views expressed to "the public at large” and "of public concern"

God gives us free will ... God is protecting us ...

God is watching all of us ...

I am an egg, B___ M___.

Not a stone.

I am broken, like an egg does.

but egg?

That means one can say I am a butt nugget---


Soft smiles.

Yet, I told you that July 2021 and on 7-18-22

that I was broken.

Cops, really? The lies, really?

Make our hours to lead us to edifying moments

to do His Will and His Way.

My "Dear John" letter to the ____ and why I resigned my Lifetime Membership in just one year due to my 7-18-22 ___ Building Expansion Tour and what I saw on the walls...

I am left traumatized.

So based on B___ telling that lies behind my back to legal authorities, I am countering with TRUTHS here for the Public at Large so I can send the link to the Boise Police to show I am truthful and show the documents so they can add this link to the incident report where lies currently are stated on there.

I had requested this to be done privately 7-18-22, but ___ Executive Director and I thought my friend the past full year, B__ M__, he chose to use Law Enforcement

(and it was labelled by City of Boise Police as a High Priority call for me, Joy A Collura, quietly waiting by the ___ front door to receive a simple public records request form ???)

So based on him telling that lies behind my back I am countering with TRUTHS here.

Freedom of speech.

...when all I asked calmly for a Public Records Request Form 7-18 texted with no acknowledgment, 7-19/20? emailed with no acknowledgment, 7-20-22 "in-person" with cops called on me with High Priority to the call (undeservingly) he told the Boise Idaho Police I harassed his Staff and the People in there, but my recording shows I was QUIET. That would be lying to an officer; why???

And if B__ did not state it than the officer stated it on report --- either way --- lies. Actually, B__ is on officer Major's body cam saying it However, cops are legally allowed to lie, right pops. ;)

Nice to see how the -daughter of law enforcement- is being treated by the way. I have been good to W__ - this is all bogus.




I only have love for the Wildland Fire Community, and I would like to see B__ M__ produce this actual documented information you offered to the Boise Idaho Police on this harassment and etc.

Is this Willis' bad mannerisms and lies again leading to all this chaos...seems like the rabbit holes always seem to most likely lead to back him. God is watching you Willis.

However, there are some areas I am doing my best to help lessen Wildland Fire Fatalities --- beginning with calling out certain leadership or the lack of there in the Industry.

Let me produce my documented areas to counter and show I refrained from speaking to any of the people who visited your location at W__ except to your son to ask for the contact information for your lawyer and to share to Betty to let me stay and get this public record form.

It mattered- this form. I was calm. I was polite. (Minimal tone was shown - however, I was in a lot of physical pain from the punches a few hours earlier), fully documented the encounter in your building, and I find this an unjust event.

In the content of this post I may suggest, say most likely, etc. yet I am unable to lay blame or claim on the Retardant Industries. However, I would like to one day see pure studies done for the Public at Large from this Industry---

Why is it okay for retardant to be dropped on wetlands, marshes, "live" fire, etc. and no studies being really done to show us to the

Public at Large when I can state where these drops were done on "live" fire, I can show you some horrific style deaths we have seen to very healthy people.

I understand fully this firefighter could have had something in his childhood/teen/adult life surface later in life except he is not the only one (too many) & there will always be all the naysayer remarks, but I think it is about time the Retardant industry has to show the Public at Large the trade secret ingredients and or do a true study on that stuff hitting water areas, "Live" fire, etc...

And as well what kind of health impact has/will it have for this new Global pandemic and the vaccination aftermaths.

I will show one image with disclaimers (that's plenty) (refrain from looking if squeamish) in this post who he was hit with drops on two fires with retardant. I explained to B___ M____ this man was a doctor and a firefighter. No help was done for me or his wife. Just disregarded and B___ did say he would help but did not know how he could help me. Yet he never followed up on the topic. I had requested two times mental health check-in. Disregarded. I am certified in many areas within the Fire Academies/ Fire Related Conferences/Private Sector in Fire.

I ended up going to the best Brain Care to see if I am okay and I was told in 2021 and this year I am totally fine just Stress and to be expected as I am in my whistleblowing phase. I was this year recognized as an emerging leader in Fire and Climate. I think I qualify to have W__ assist.

Why was I brushed off?

This will be setup as Summer 2022 "Live" Journal to continue to add documents as I review them, so a place you can come back to with doing more documents-

B__ stated on Officer's Major's body cam he has all intention to build a paper trail against me so this is my one-time event now turned into a post where I will counter the lies and show my documented proof here.

I had someone from my high school phase 7-28-22 and as well CA dozer guy state let it go for my health and anytime you counter a billion-dollar industry topic- it just brews more crap.

Some have tried to make me feel fear...some say:

"if you have to explain ... you are losing"

I am fine with being viewed as losing - a loser in this.

At least I did my part to tell the truth.

I appreciated and paused the blog for 12 hours based on their comment.


I am physically hurt from that attack in Boise, Idaho.

I will get to the bottom of it for sure.

I know me and I am coming at this from a pure heart and zero agenda.

What is my hope in all these revelations they asked?

I hope by my sharing purely that we can begin to get a much more serious look at the Retardant companies and that I will always refuse to be tied to any organization that takes in any incentives incoming or outgoing from these companies until a proper assessment and studies are done.

I have done my intense extensive research.

I watch Wildland fires and their origins, progressions and burn scars and where retardant are dropped if it may be on "live" fire or near or in watersheds, wetlands, marshes, etc.

I have sat with too many ill or dying locals' hospital bed sides, been to their funerals and watch the maps where they drop the stuff on "live" fire and then go back and watch the health journeys of the folks near these drops. I am deeply involved on many Wildland fires.

The goal of this post is to show I am a gift of discernment, and I will show documented facts that I have only been kind to the

W__ and it was so undeserving what happened 7-18-22 and 7-20-22.

As well...

Avoiding fear.

I am a loyal positive Lifetime Member to W__ and met B__ M__ not professionally but personally then purely understand my confusion, why he called the cops on me?

My high school phase friend states either ego happened or because of my inquiry asking for a public record to his heart and soul- the WFF.

Either way, it happened. I forgive.

I just want a public document showing when he reports and stated, I harassed the folks in there- untrue- my recorder shows all that was said...

If you are looking to paper trail still on me then this is my official public 'cease and desist' statement to you B___ M___ but always here to work on it and rectify it as well. Just not into games and lies and orchestrations with authorities, sir...

Not into games.

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Abbreviations used: Wildland Firefighters (WFs) - Firefighters (FFs).

The business internet is out for almost 8 days --- the other internet the guys use is out for more than that. I want this posted now versus later so I can tell my side before some other bogus authority action unfolds in the meantime like some bogus cease n desist crap- I deserve to share my documented side of truths. I have no clue who or what has been shared to others by B__ M___, but I have the body cam of that cop- that is enough to counter with documented facts my stuff. However, when I get bandwidth again, I will add more documented records. Okay. I worked on this since

7-25-22 and it just keeps "vanishing" to blank with showing no history on my history line--- it has been frustrating...

I have had way too many of these this week delaying me to progress on the post:


Click on "Important Side Notes" to expand the Collapsible List:

Important Side Notes:

Side notes first ... before I explain why I resigned from W__ until an area is resolved or not: notes: I had someone I know pick it a part - my audio recording ( about WFF with fellow Fire Dozer guy - saying some areas seem I led shamefully Dozer Guy on, and we have the full recording that Dozer Guy can clarify that when we met, I was very much due to poor health in "pause" phase of letting anyone new into my space at any age last Fall 2021 but especially near my age even though we had many commonalities and that was only in life stuff / health stuff - no leading to anything else or leading on just to clarify for the Public at Large since one person stated that- getting it out there - clearing the garbage thoughts. Dozer guy can tell ya- I was talking either on my hubby, Dan J. or B__ M___ last Fall 2021 to him, Scott, Fred, Dr Ted, and Dan H/J. Yet when you think about this recent person feeling I shamelessly led Dozer Guy on because I used the word "commonalities" was off base. It is no different than what Sonny thought on this link when I said I dedicate my life and the statement here about my commitment to God and etc... and he thought I knew Fred in some sort of relationship manner and nope... I am just publicly cutting the bullshit out because I do zero shadiness in my life and if I have any incoming bs that I embrace, I own it --- very clean person and lifestyle -- and anything I do- I can share about private and public --- let me begin...see: Blog | yarnellhillfirerevel (

"My name is Joy A. Collura. I am 49 years old. Married my best friend with zero children. I have been with my husband since 1988. Until the day Fred J. Schoeffler and myself pass on, we both committed to God and to each other through the thick and thin and through dark times, bad health, and Spiritual Warfare that this Yarnell Hill Fire Revelations blog will be our path and to get the documented TRUTHS out to the Public at Large. We have faced more times of external darkness then one would like to admit to face in one lifetime. We know when we are getting somewhere when the attacks do happen and they can get so yucky for us both. "

I want folks to keep this in mind, the same person making the "Judgement Call" also created/orchestrated areas long ago in knowing me that when his family placed it all on me, all I can say is God will work on his unusual thought process and their dynamics- not my deal. However, I can with a pure heart share I have been with my husband since 1988, dated in 1991, married in 1993. He is my best friend. He knows everything about me. Since that time, we knew as a family friend and my husband's boss 1995-2010 then he moved to Vegas. Local taxidermist's mom asked if I would walk with Ronda Carnes. We did. Alone and with Jerry Sutich and Gilbert. After that, March 2009- Ronda asked so she can have "couple time" again minus Tommy Maiden if I would hike local Yarnell Ranch House Restaurant employee, Tommy Maiden "Snakeman" and I was hesitant due to his embellishing ways so Frankie Serros, Bryant Sossaman and his girl would participate in those hikes March 2009-June 2009 because I did not want to hike alone with him. Frankie, Tommy and I were diagnosed with brain tumors and other health issues, and I left my job in 2011. Both men died, one from lower issues and the other in a horrific way from his Glioblastoma brain tumor. After that chapter, because I think of my life in life chapters --- I pioneered August 2011-August 2017 with Tex Harold Eldon Gilligan (Sonny) (click on each of his name to see articles on him) based on conversations over the decade I had with my pops and grandpas. I wanted to live a life in a pioneer style and can one in today's modern world of so many rules and regulations- I wanted to experience life as if I just walked into an Old Western novel.

Figured if my life is on its last lap with health crap -- might as well get near some water and fish and or just enjoy and relax ... I was not running away as some assumed and or rumored --- I really love being out by the water. I love being productive in other non-traditional ways. I have lived it by natural lakes most my life --- have talked about going out on a boat out to sea until I died or some far away lake from the USA. However, I promised my husband I would not go out to sea. He really enjoys my company until I pass on. I like the freshwater lake in Nicaragua - that would be cool because there I could eat sharks/freshwater fish and I could live that life there...

This may seem an unhealthy thought to another talking about living by the water or sharing about my immediate space / personal - professional life for the World. I just love the outdoors and I am very rugged and old school- untraditional for sure. Sonny was ideal for me to trail with that in mind. An old cowboy/logger/miner. Sonny is so genuine. Authentic. I loved looking him in the eyes because he is just this amazing person to learn from. Brilliant mind. Straight shooter. Back then, his neighbor said 'you needed a walker, old man'... and we went to the guy and said Sonny got his walker alright--- the desert walker. So, I enjoy his humor the best. Yet, most I like about him that we can communicate without words. Sonny and I would humor we were the old married couple- he is old, and I am married. 100% humor. Yet, we had a deep tie emotionally and a true understanding we are every ten-day type folk for socializing. One can meet folks left and right, but Sonny and I always brought folks to our life we did not have to be around daily. Just how we rolled. Even though John and I have been together since 1988 - Sonny was my first person to know daily 24/7 except maybe my parents when I was born, and we (Sonny/I) had our challenges 2011-2017 in person pioneering but right now Sonny is figuring out how we can trail again with my current health doing the old turquoise and silver mines. I would love for Jackson and Scott to experience what I was shown --- it truly is like stepping into an old Western novel with Sonny. Amazing campfire moments with him and his guitar.

My goal if I am going to stay alive - is to make sure to do my best to help lessen Wildland Firefighter Fatalities. I will explain in the post the very folks who got to B__ M__'s ears about me will have your moment with God --- like I always say "God is watching" because when I was in his living room and rewind a day or so back to 7-20-21 --- I never thought after one year of sharing in a positive fashion private and public / raising funds / becoming a lifetime member to W__ on my Facebook or blog that when I arrived 7-20-22 after getting my ass kicked around the corner from WFF that B__ M__ would even "thought process into action" calling the cops on me--- I was bewildered by his manners. I thought is that the right manners to do to someone who was traumatized on

7-18-22 when Betty Ashe gave me a tour of the expansion of the W__ (WFF) ??? and saw what I saw in that board meeting room and hallways- Explain below.

I will finish about WFF down below... Back to Dozer guy and keep this chronological--- I was quite ill as shown in this video:

and I truly felt that day was my last day to life 9-22-21 ( I really FELT it) and then two days later I had three seizures into unconscious state over on the "10 and 18" land, so Dozer Guy stayed up all night on the cell and got me through that evening of pure weakness and that was our first interaction (met when he posted LIKES on YHFR FB September 22, 2021) and I was afraid to fall asleep because my Specialist stated the reason he was ordering a test because it was being noted I could die in my sleep. I explained my situation to Dozer guy, and I was wanting to get to CA for my Red Card and Pack Test just to show Fred it can be done and something to look forward to vs the ill spot I was in.

I wanted something to look forward to... I am used to hanging out with kids and elders so if I did it ... I wanted a third wheel, so I asked Fred and Scott --- then my health got worse. By October 5th, 2021, my doctors had rerouted me to my brain surgeon, any by end of 2021- five neurologists that handle rare disease and brain concerns. I was getting weaker. I text messaged B__ M__ what he shared with me because I had a major neuro-shift happened after I left him, and I needed the doctors to know details that were outside my normal days patterns. I wanted to be alive and get well. He was so focused to his CA airport moment and just brushed me off. Scott assured me B___ was under much stress. I let it go. My Facebook and Live journal blog prove that.

However, due to the following chronological documents below, I removed myself even though I knew my acting role part fully and with the right tone and emotion, I removed me from the Compassion Spreads Like Wildfire film based on the Fall 2021 in how all was okay between B__ and I and he confirmed that to me 7-22-21 so something on his end went odd/off; not on my end- I was dealing with being so ill and the dumb ass stuff with YCSO/BASDEN/HELMs. The only thing I overheard 7-22-21 was when I was in B__ M__'s living room, his mom called, and it was sad what I heard. Year after year, I get this freaking 'controversial' label even though I am the one showing the best documentation on the Yarnell Hill Fire 2013 that I was the eyewitness on, and I was with the Granite Mountain Hotshots on the Weaver Mountains 6-30-13 and we almost died too and I am just gathering data to figure out the documented details.

I just think God wants me to do this fire journey in His Will and His Way at all times and always but in a way, it is good it went 'weird' on the one area, because my health should always be my number one and my home life is important to me equally as my relationship with God. However, when I came home, I did have to address to my immediate people in my space that B__ M__ and I shared an inappropriate time but not "that" that deep --- just lines crossed once an invited wave/pat of the hand from B__ M__ took place my way and two days of interacting - zip took place for the record those first 2 days, but it was the on the third day his "pat" invite and my accepting it,

but I did not know how to process it. I still do not know what happened really. I was given some items from B__ M__ so I can safely state I was under the influence as my labs showed it when I got home. I mean I never had a person ask me 'why did you allow me into your marriage- do you have an open marriage?' --- I had to ask him back to define what he meant? It was all so spanking new to me. I can share I never had a person near my age in my space. A guy from Canada sent me a link to a video. I did not even compute B__ was B__ when we talked ( I was on a brain detox diet and low energy at that time. ) --- just that he wanted to get me on the next flight to Idaho after many hours of talking 7-20-21 to take some WFF tour and meet his Mom and plop me in front of ladies asking me to say what I can see (???), and I was down for that because Scott met his Mom the month before- conferenced call Scott to see if he would third wheel it. I trust Scott but Scott had Monsoon concerns in his work space, so I ended up solo and not a thing I have ever done and not the best socially to be plopped in front of folks and say tell them what you see B__ did that to me to Dina and Joyce... it was quite awkward because what happens for me is a gift not on demand thing. and I just know we had a real chill time 7-20 and 7-21 and on 7-22 return plane ticket was made and 7-23-21 I was back in Arizona left thinking what was all that? God? Really? See here is when I signed up to officially go in October- I was set to go and I knew my part fully but when I in a sense got "ghosted"- I told Scott and Betty I could not go--- something seemed shifted or off:

After extensively asking family and friends and hubby the 'what if' he never got that call from Mom -- our in-person time was pure, humble and vulnerable and authentic and emotionally intelligent ---Some that known him for years said he is a player, but that 'player' person was for sure not in front of me. What I had in front of me was a humble good man. I would not label him. I find him to be an excellent person. I am buffaloed by the call to the cops though. That was so odd. We all forgive him for doing that. I can only assume people gossiped about me with him. Some said maybe he allegedly drugged me, and I said nope. I willingly accepted the "patting hand" moment; influenced. I own my moments in life. Influenced or not. People who know me and known me for many decades firmly feel because I told him I was married and my life story and my health issues, he should have never shared me any stuff period. I have never been under the influence like that in my life. My hands were trailing. It was weird. I know I will never place myself in that position ever again. I will always have a third wheel when I am out with folks. I guess because I been around Scottie Briggs that we never had exchanges like that--- I am like his kid sister. It was way too foreign for me, and I am okay with my life here and I just figured it was the stuff shared to me so I let it go and just went back to "Live" Journaling and you can click on links and see what I wrote about B__ M__ and W__ over time and it shows I purely forgave Summer 2021. ( PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru 2014-Pt 4 (,PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru 2014-Pt 5 (, PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru 2014-Pt 6 (,PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru 2014-Pt 7 (, PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru 2014-Pt 8 (,PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru2014-Pt 8a (, PUBLIC RECORD REQUESTS-CITY OF PRESCOTT-Record(s) requesting: FISCAL RECORDS for 2007 thru2014-Pt 8b (, What does InvestigativeMEDIA mean to Joy A. Collura? Why did she first venture to IM Chapter One? (, Has Project 10&18 United/International Property "Ground Breaking" Progress Been Glacially Slow? (,Is Joy A. Collura treated in a fair, impartial, bias-free, & objective manner, in accordance to law? (,Friends who listen in time of need and give the wisdom and compassion of their hearts...Thank You! (,Why was the last conference I, Joy A Collura, was at, deeply traumatic for me? (,Why did a "Housewife Hiker" take a Heavy Equipment Dozer Boss Wildland Course? (,"Live" Journal (Month of April 2022) (,"Live" Journal (Month of April/May 2022) (,"Live" Journal (Month of May 2022) ( Blog | yarnellhillfirerevel (, roller skating, walking and just trying to get well yet I always showed on my Live Journals and Facebook purity and kindness to WFF fully (never any harassment) so believe you me I am buffaloed that B__ M__ called the cops and when I left, he told the cop Nohl Major who he named to me as 'Mo' that I have a history of harassing Wildland Firefighters and now I made my way to them...that was like ??? What. Where did that come from? Who have I harassed and why such the yucky manners? Especially about me? Thought we were fine.

All this for asking for a public records request form? When you involved the authorities, I had to counter with documented truths. I have a problem with people using authorities for their agendas.

Then, I was like SOMEONE(S) been in B__ M__'s ears because our in person talk and on the cell was so "cool and chill" - I never had that in my entire life what was shown and he was so close in age too. My entire life has been kids and elders. I explain all my life chapters on the blog posts in raw form. If there is any area not fully shown, that was because of another not me. Their request. Fred likes me to redact and back channel his section. He does not like his area Public. I have been living the same lifestyle for decades that when I was in B__ M__'s personal space, I thought it would not take much to adapt because our lives and homes are very much alike. I could be a great friend. I was blinded by my health and facts of life that 'duh' you got someone you love and adore--- but I was influenced I know that with the help of another sharing to me. I know his times that he needs to do his own stuff solo and I actually at almost 50 years old back then told my elementary/junior high/high school pals my first time I wanted to know a person, just happened. I never looked for that or desired to know people. John has always been there and my dearest friend since I was almost killed in the 80's. We will always be. I love him and he loves me. I just never been viewing him but as my pal since I lost my pregnancy. It really has been my elders and the kids where my time went to over time. Also, we cannot fail to remember how Fred J Schoeffler got in my space even though I wrote about it here: What does InvestigativeMEDIA mean to Joy A. Collura? Why did she first venture to IM Chapter One? / Blog | yarnellhillfirerevel ( - August 2017, Fred was on the Diamond Creek-DC Fire then to WA then to Oregon. He was speaking about Double Standards that month. By the 19th, he was having breakfast with his daughter then off to his very last Wildfire- August 24-30th when he was demobbed. That was his last moment on a Wildland Fire. September 2021, Holly Henderson Synder Neill asked me to look into it. Out of the blue she resurfaces and emails a bunch of contact names and numbers and emails. I fact check other ways, Ma'am. I like documented proof. Not peoples' perceptions of Fred. I mean, Fred is Fred, and he has his uniqueness. Only knew Fred on InvestigativeMEDIA 2013 until 2017. Then by that Fall 2017, Fred only met me at Marcia McKee's case where Gail, Fred, a reporter and myself were the only ones who showed up in Dec 30, 2016, and he wanted me to meet his lawyers Feb 7, 2017. I did not much care for the paralegal I told Sonny and so I laid low --- I think Jodi was her name- Jankowski. I got a weird vibe from her I told Sonny. Fred said that Feb 2017- "Truth will ultimately prevail when there is pains taken to bring it to the light" and I said that's Washington, Dude...George said that not you. Back to quoting others are ya. I was not gonna be manipulated and that Jodi lady---very unprofessional from my "housewife hiker" view. Fred was busy with his meteorology class, editor Martha/AHFE article and Embry Riddle and Sandi. Then the Frye Fire/ Goodwin / Gentry Fires...Fall 2017, Fred emailed me something "K" said about Grant McKee, and I thought who cares - why ya reaching me then I told him about me looking him up based on Holly Henderson Synder Neill's Fall's comments so do not get offended. I also requested his Crew Time Report on YHF 2013- never came. Fred said "Truth isn't mean- It's truth" ( Andrew Breitbart -) yet when I go to fact check and verify on areas over time --- (redacted this area - after Fred requested to after he saw what I typed- Fred likes me to redact and back channel his section. He does not like his area Public.) January 26, 2018, I was fasting- I met Fred at El Gato Azul's for broth. I was hiking daily then and doing Bible Studies with Steve and Gail in Prescott Valley. Fred was working on his AHFE article and attending Embry Riddle. A month later, I was meeting my medical massager in Prescott at the B&B. That was all so new as well to me. She must have scratched her head. She knows my entire world and family. She was like... Fred? Her good friend dated Fred and she worked on him long ago. Small world. He had us...(redacted this area - after Fred requested to after he saw what I typed- Fred likes me to redact and back channel his section. He does not like his area Public.) I then saw Fred May 9, 2018, after his final exam. He signed me up for Arizona Wildfire Academy PIO- Social Media course that week. I was so ill and almost skipped out. Fred would tell me "Stay the course, Joy." Fred would label me in his books as 'meltdown/melt' when I did not agree to his ways-- that when I took Fred, Dr Ted Putnam, Keegan Schaeffer, Norb Szczurek to retired ill/dying phase Fire Chief Pete Anderson's place then we went to my home to let them see a little bit of evidence and Fred was (redacted this area - after Fred requested to after he saw what I typed- Fred likes me to redact and back channel his section. He does not like his area Public.) This event was when the blog was discussed to create. I said okay, I will waste internet bandwidth and electricity in Pine AZ and stay at his Strawberry guest house was the plan Summer 2018. I just did my best to "vibe" with him over time. Then I was attending as an audit to Statistics Class at Embry Riddle after our hike with Polo Rodriguez 4-20-18 and I am sorry I barked at Fred on that hike, but he just does not get hiking to certain spots on the Weaver Mountains are triggers for me and he would say redundantly "get over it" --- he lacks empathy. We went to see John M MacLean and Holly Henderson Synder Neill presentation on YHF 2013- 5 years later at the SCFFW in CA. Then to Boise, Idaho for AMS presentation. June 15, 2018, I had a nice visit with Dr Ted and Fred. I then went to Pine from Dr Ted's until July 10th, 2018. I really was not going to return to Pine. I feel if I ever think different than Fred, he says either we have to agree to disagree, "whatever", "I have to tolerate you Joy so you have to tolerate me", I am being childish, I am vile, vindictive and vengeful, and etc. --- it was wearing on me too fast. Fred hired a professional Scottsdale mediator and she said "stop treating Joy like a child, Fred" so we never saw her again. I told him my vision was not good from being on PC that Summer 2018 so he said he would pay for me to get an eye exam at his Eye Doctor in Payson if I would go back to that Pine area for the blog. I said no. He said it is my duty to help lessen Wildland Firefighter fatalities. I said I already done more than most after the YHF 2013. I am okay. I don't want folks thinking he paid shit for me. At that point we agreed that if my health shifts I can go home. August 3, 2018, he picked me up again until the 27th. Saw his Eye Dr Aug 10, 2018, and I was right---the computer time was hurting my vision. I just did not know if I wanted to continue on the blog. It began one week on and off but too far to drive so we switched it to 3 weeks on and off. I live in Congress, Az and he lives in Pine, AZ. Far enough drive to do one week on and off for the blog. I just struggled. Knowing Sonny 24/7 involved a every 10 days moment of ugh we are in another's' space, but I would prefer spending time with Sonny because Fred judges and challenges and comments way too much. It was mentally draining. He cannot just be chill when I am around. The hard part was him telling the Hotshot Community I was working on blog at his place, and he had me conferenced in on many calls of his and that was just odd. He would say Joy, you love it. Yet, it was odd. I doubt I loved it. I loved more the little chicken scratch shit he did on envelopes draped all over. We then met 8-28-18, Dr Leroy where I told Fred who to interview in town of Yarnell and Dr Leroy said too. Due to lined up interviews- I was back in Pine 8-31-18. I was home again by 9-20-18. I thank Fred J Schoeffler for taking me to my dear friend's funeral in Tucson September 22, 2018.

Then I was doing the Embry Riddle classes as an audit, Fred wanted me to apply to the Prescott Cache 9-29-18, we spent time with Dee 10-4-18 then the Embry Riddle (audit) classes then back and met Dr Ted, Dee and Fred for a meal in Prescott 11-1-18. Then I met/helped the Helm couple 11-29-18 for the Ollie- Munch and Learn at the Yavapai College. I went to the IAWF North Carolina Presentation 12-9-18 thru 12-16-18. Then the Jan. 2019 AMS conference...anyways the point to share on Fred is because Marty Cole was stating to Fred---'your girlfriend' and I am taking the time out for you Marty to explain the things Fred has done in regard to me was not to build a relationship. However, in 2018 there was layers we had to work out because we had to build a root foundation, but it never happened - I just became his dysfunctional knowing me with a professional mediator saying stop treating Joy like a child, Fred. 'Fred is Fred'. Fred would return and say 'Joy is Joy'. Just how it rolls. We are just two stubborn folks.

I am not a fan of endless emails as he says "keeping you in the loop, Joy"...the many conference calls to the Hotshot Community because I am a one-on-one person. The redundancy. The nit-picking ways. Gets old. The Yarnell Hill Fire Revelations blog for me is just in brainstorm mode and Fred's posts. My posts are just "live" journaling on health and life and documents. All articles for presentations are Fred. I am doing my best to get documents out in a slow fashion making God and health my top priority.

And how Scottie Briggs came to my life was years ago - call him and ask - to me he is like a brother who allows me to be me and gives me freedom to make my own life choices. I have paused him over time just because when I pause, I usually pause in a group fashion. Yet he always is there when I am done 'pausing' --- I am sure I would refrain from pausing him if we knew another outside the Yarnell stuff. It is that doubt moments that happen from trying to bridge areas --- it has its shadow moments. It's all good. I figured sharing about the folks around me helps to show I have zero people in my area about my age. Scottie is the closest I know in my age area. Scottie is my brother's age like 5-7 years older than me.

Resigning from the W__ as a Lifetime Member 7-18-22 and why...check my emails out...

W__ Executive Director and Friend Summer 2021 for last Annual called cops on JOY A COLLURA who was just asking for a Public Record Form - Officer Nohl's Body Cam




Prayers for my Family-

Instagram / Facebook Add-On Images I thought belonged here

Unsubscribed -MyGivingCircle members

Thank you to my Cerebral Care Health Team - for the Get Well / Encouragement card and for being the first folks to look me over (from the attack 7-20-22: inflammation to the liver/hiatal hernia/to the right below my right belly button, minimal bruises to left arm from attacker's fist impact ending there so knuckle bruises) and get me to my PCP for cont. care:

BOISE IDAHO - SELFIES and MISC PICS FROM TRIP (7-12-22 thru 7-25-22)

Left Congress AZ for medical, haircut, Abby at Zbod, cerebral care then to see Jackson and Scott-

My online plug for local artist:

7-15-22 - showing my continued love and support for WFF:

yeah, not really the color I asked for - oh well:

7-15/7-16-22- Resting and hanging out with Jackson and Scott in Gilbert, AZ:

We (Scott, Jackson, and Fred) did a short version site visit for the Dude Fire:

7-17-22 arrive in Boise ID:

I hung up Jackson's art he made me:

7-17-22 I went on my 4-8pm hike and met Highway Hiker Mike and helped him out and gave him your brand new THATWASEPIC shirt, Juan, you just mailed me...

New tab ( ThatWasEpic Tee

---ThatWasEpic - YouTube:

7-18-22 WFF Tour with Betty Ashe:

Betty Ashe noticed I shifted after leaving this room--- YES, this room traumatized me when I saw the images on the wall and knowing what I know--- it hurt bad:

then I was shocked I did not faint --- then saw this image:


And I went into "trigger" mode, and I kept seeing the Fallen Firefighters and Civilians and the funerals I went to--- WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE...when is it gonna stop... when is an official study gonna be done on the Retardant companies... especially laying that crap on wetlands, watersheds, "live" fires, etc

this was the room I made the comment I did to B__ Minor where he said it is a 'serious' room- Seriously "boring" looking is what I think.... and I think the topic of the slurry drops and getting a study to happen is much more important than sales of some boots...

After going to WFF 7-18-22- went back to room and just deeply wept from that WFF Board Meeting photos and what Staff Member said about the Holy Spirit told her for me to not go to my interview- she saw bad / bodily harm and now I am thinking how I have to do the difficult right thing and resign from WFF as a Lifetime Member until it is resolved or accept no more WFF support from me. I have been to too many funerals and until ALL

phos chek / slurry drop / retardant companies do a pure case study I will not affiliate to ANY organization tied to any of those people.

I just got worse as the night unfolded with why did I see those images on the wall at WFF??? Why God??? My eyes swollen:

7-18-22 evening -- Scott/Dan called Betty Ashe and she came and got me- I was so very sad. I asked B__ to help me by text message and email- he never engaged. I was hitchhiking out because I was unsure if what was said about not going to the interview was the Holy Spirit or something then overheard because on my Wed. walk it happened. That was WHY I am smiling on camera but not my happy self just wanting to get the document- public records form. At Betty's, I crashed but my eyes were so swollen:

7-19-22- was at the State Capitol to meet political folks and then off to Sun Valley ID:

<-- see the cute cate in back